following the Dance (LJIdol -- Week 2)

[vik_thor]

"Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he,
And I'll lead you all, where ever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said he."
--Sydney Carter

I am a follower of the Lord of the Dance. Not Yeshua, who this version of the song is putatively for, but rather Shiva Nataraja, Pan, Dionysus, Kernun. I have a hard time staying still when there is music playing. It can be as small as finger or foot tapping, to full out dancing where I can take over the entire dance floor.

I don't remember anything specifically dance related in my childhood or adolescence. The earliest dancing memory I have is of 'The Beauty and the Beast' dance that was held around Halloween. I had been coming out of my shell more and more over the past year, and my girlfriend and I were participating in the costume contest, as sorcerer and sorceress. It took me awhile to gather my courage up to actually get out on the dance floor, but once I did, I stayed there the rest of the night, only stopping to get something to drink, and to rest during the slow songs. The other school dances during my senior year went similarly. I had discovered my joy in dancing.

Dancing during college happened, mostly just me and my WalkMan. The only gay bar in town wasn't dance oriented.

The first time I really felt Nataraja was during my 18 months in San Francisco, after college graduation. I was involved with the Black Leather Wings tribe of the Radical Faeries. I was in a ritual when, the closest I can describe, i was possessed or ridden by Him. At that time, i felt … connected to the entire cycle of being.

"Around its center in an open gyre
earth turns, the day:
around the earth in an open gyre
moon turns, the month:
around the sun in an open gyre
earth turns, the year:
around its center in an open gyre
sun turns, the dance:
sun and the other stars in an open gyre
turn and return, the dance."
-- Ursula K. Le Guin, Always Coming Home "The Gyres" from the Fourth Section of Poems

I … have never felt quite that connection again. But i feel echoes when dancing by myself, just moving to the music, letting the music move me.

(My style of dance [if it can be called that] is entirely self taught. I move to the music, and thus each song can feel different, and have different movements. I do borrow heavily from Hindu dance that I've seen, but… I have never seen a video of myself dancing. I don't really want to, I'm afraid that if I do, I will feel too self-conscious to ever dance again.)

Comments

[sinnamongirl.livejournal.com]

Yes! A nice gauzy skirt (especially with some sparkles thrown in) is so awesome to dance in.