Aurora
We caught a great show here in central Illinois. :D There was a large bright green blob to the northwest, a paler green streak just south of that, a larger red area just north of it, and some pink off toward the northeast. It's the most distinctive aurora we've seen -- previous examples tended to be solid sheets and less bright.
Entitlement Beyond Belief, Part 2
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Caller: "I don’t believe in shipping fees. Please take it off."
Me: "Uhm… I can’t do that, sir. Shipping fees are applied to all orders."
Caller: "But I don’t believe in shipping fees."
Making A Stand On The Brand
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Me: "Which brand is that?"
Woman: "The one on sale."
Me: "Would that be [Brand A] or [Brand B]?"
Woman: "The one on sale."
Why Is Pen?!
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Me: *Pen in hand.* "Cool, where do I sign?"
Cashier: "Oh, you don't need to sign."
Me: "...Then, where'd I get this pen?"
Cashier: "Oh... did I hand it to you?"
Read Why Is Pen?!
When It Comes To Pricing, Cardamom’s The Word
Read When It Comes To Pricing, Cardamom’s The Word

Boss: "Hmm, the new cardamom buns aren't selling well."
Me: "Yeah, maybe it's not a flavour they like?"
Boss: "Let me try something."
Space Exploration
So a spacesuit helmet for a prey species with eyes to the side should have its reinforcement as a strip from front to back, with a faceplate on either side, rather than a small window only in the front. When you design spacesuits for aliens, keep in mind how their sensory organs work, and try to avoid just mimicking equipment designed for humans.
Trying And Failing To Get A Vaccine
It’s that time of year again where I always manage to get COVID. I have gotten COVID literally every single year since 2020, and pretty much exclusively around the holidays. I also happen to be flying to San Francisco this week and hanging out with a bunch of people while there, so I figured today was a good day to walk into my local Kroger and get a COVID shot.
Well, I ended up leaving without one, as I was told that unless I had a medical diagnosis or condition that required I get one per a doctor’s order, I couldn’t get one. I was baffled, since I could’ve sworn that for the past five years Kroger has been nonstop advertising walk-in vaccines, so I inquired further. I was told that it’s because of the new administration. Because why wouldn’t that be the reason?
Basically, she said that unless I had a “reason” to get the shot, my insurance wasn’t going to cover it. So I asked what if I just paid out of pocket, and she said it would be over two hundred dollars, and that I should try CVS or Walgreens to see if it was cheaper there.
I’m literally just, like, dumbfounded right now. I know that (thankfully) I can just pay out of pocket, or try a different place, or see if they’ll accept insurance or whatever, but what the fuck? Needing insurance to get a vaccine is bullshit. Needing a reason to get a vaccine is bullshit. I walked in to a clinic that advertised walk-in COVID shots, and left without one. That’s bullshit!
Anyway, I just wanted to come on here and vent, and see if anyone else has had a similar experience in the past few months? I want to get a flu shot, as well, and I’m hoping I don’t run into the same fucking issue.
Let me know in the comments.
-AMS
Not What I Mean By Liquid Assets
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Me: "Whoa, hold up. That case of juice boxes isn’t $330."
Cashier: "Yep, it is. I just scanned it."
Me: "But… $330 is too much for orange juice."
Cashier: *Pauses, frowning thoughtfully.* "Hmmm. Yeah, I guess. I dunno." *Shrugs and tries to move on.*
We No Longer Take Checks Or Balances
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Customer: *Holding out her card.* "Do I have enough on my card?"
Me: "I don’t know how much is in your account, ma'am."
Customer: "Oh, sorry. That was silly of me."
She inserts her card.
Customer: "How about now?"
How to Get Signed & Personalized Books From Me For the Holidays, 2025 Edition


We’ve come to that time of the year again, where folks begin to think about their holiday gift giving, and at least some of you think about books as the perfect gift. Well, they are! But would make them even more perfect is getting those books signed and personalized. Every year I join forces with Jay and Mary’s Book Center in Troy, Ohio, to sign and personalize books so that you’ll have them available to give to the people you love, including yourself.
From today (Nov. 11) through Friday, December 5, you can order books I have written from Jay and Mary’s and I will come in and sign them for you, and then the bookstore will ship them to you (US only). I strongly encourage you to get your orders in early, so there are no delays in shipping the books to you this holiday season.
Here’s how to do it!
1. Call Jay & Mary’s at their number (937 335 1167) and let them know that you’d like to order signed copies of my books. Please call rather than send e-mail; they find it easier to keep track of things that way.
2. Tell them which books you would like (For example, The Shattering Peace ), and what, if any, names you would like the book signed to. If there’s something specific you’d like written in the books let them know, but for their sake and mine, please keep it short. Also, if you’re ordering the book as a gift, make sure you’re clear about whose name the book is being signed to. If this is unclear, I will avoid using a specific name.
3. Order any other books you might think you’d like, written by other people, because hey, you’ve already called a bookstore for books, and helping local independent bookstores is a good thing. I won’t sign these, unless for some perverse reason you want me to, in which case, sure, why not.
4. Give them your mailing address and billing information, etc.
5. And that’s it! Shortly thereafter I will go to the store and sign your books for you.
Again, the deadline for signed/personalized books for 2025 is December 5. After December 5 all Scalzi stock will still be signed and available, but I will likely not be able to personalize.
Also, this is open to US addresses only. Sorry, rest of the world. It’s a cost of shipping thing.
What books are available?
CURRENT HARDCOVER: There are two current hardcovers: When the Moon Hits Your Eye and The Shattering Peace, both of which came out this year. In addition, there may be hardcovers available for Starter Villain, but ask first, as it’s primarily in trade paperback at this point. There is another hardcover out, Constituent Service, but it is a limited edition, and you would need to get it through the publisher, Subterranean Press.
CURRENT TRADE PAPERBACK: As of now, the first six books of the Old Man’s War series (Old Man’s War, The Ghost Bridages, The Last Colony, Zoe’s Tale, The Human Division, The End of All Things) are available in trade paperback with matching cover treatments, so if you wanted to give those six books as a gift, they are all now a matching set. Other books in trade paperback: Starter Villain, The Kaiju Preservation Society, The Android’s Dream, Agent to the Stars and Fuzzy Nation, Redshirts (the 2013 Hugo Award winner), Twenty-First Century Science Fiction (which features a story of mine), Metatropolis (which I edited and contribute a novella to) are all also available in trade paperback format. Also available: Robots Vs. Fairies, the anthology that features the story of mine that was adapted for the “Three Robots” episode of the Netflix animated series Love, Death and Robots.
CURRENT MASS MARKET PAPERBACK: The entire Interdependency series (The Collapsing Empire, The Consuming Fire and The Last Emperox) are available, both individually and as a boxed set. The fist six books of the Old Man’s War series (Old Man’s War, The Ghost Brigades, The Last Colony, Zoe’s Tale, The Human Division and The End of All Things) are available individually, and the first three of those books also come in their own boxed set (note, however, that the series is transitioning to trade paperback). Lock In, Head On and Unlocked: An Oral History of the Haden Syndrome (novella) are individually available as well. Fuzzy Nation, Agent to the Stars and The Android’s Dream have recently been moved into trade paperback, but mass market editions are probably still available if that’s your preference. Please note: If you order the boxed sets, if you want those signed you’ll have to agree to let me take the shrinkwrap off. In return I’ll sign each of the books in the box.
CURRENT NON-FICTION: Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded (essay collection, Hugo winner), The Mallet of Loving Correction (also an essay collection, this will need to be special ordered as it is a signed limited), Virtue Signaling (a third essay collection, will also need special ordering) and Don’t Live For Your Obituary (a collection of essays about writing, will also need to be special ordered).
AUDIOBOOKS: The Kaiju Preservation Society, The Last Emperox, The Consuming Fire, The Collapsing Empire, The Dispatcher, The End of All Things, Lock In, Head On, The Human Division, Redshirts, Fuzzy Nation, The God Engines, Metatropolis and Agent to the Stars are all available on CD and/or MP3 CD, and Jay & Mary’s should be able to special order them for you. Check with them about other titles, which may or may not be currently available on CD.
Two things regarding audiobooks: First, if you want these, you should probably call to order these as soon as possible. Second, and this is important, because the audiobooks come shrinkwrapped, I will have to remove the shrinkwrap in order to sign the cover. You ordering a signed audiobook means you’re okay with me doing that and with Jay & Mary’s shipping it to you out of its shrinkwrap.
If you have any other questions, drop them in the comment thread and I’ll try to answer them!
Monkey See, Butt What Did Monkey Do?
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I work for a major pharmacy chain. We sometimes get calls from manufacturers and distributors to add products to our system. Caller: “So, the item code is [code].” This is strange, normally they just tell me the name. Me: “Okay, but it’s easier if I just start with the name of the product.” Caller: “Do […]
Seriously Dude, Use Google!
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Me: *Answering a call.* "[Reference Library], how may I assist you?"
Caller: "Do you know what temperature you set the oven to, to cook garlic bread?"
Me: "Uh… not really, no. Sir, you're aware you've called a library?"
Wildlife
Orcas in Mexico are flipping young great whites for their livers — a chilling display of intelligence and adaptation.
In the Gulf of California, a pod of orcas known as Moctezuma’s pod has developed a chillingly precise technique for hunting young great white sharks — flipping them upside down to paralyze and extract their nutrient-rich livers. The behavior, filmed and documented by marine biologists, reveals a level of intelligence and social learning that suggests cultural transmission of hunting tactics among orcas.
Birdfeeding
I fed the birds. I've seen a few sparrows and house finches.
I put out water for the birds.
EDIT 11/11/25 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.
EDIT 11/11/25 -- I did more work around the patio.
I've seen a young fox squirrel at the hopper feeder
EDIT 11/11/25 -- I did more work around the patio.
As it is getting dark, I am done for the night.
Manager Override Override
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I got super fed up with this and kept track of EVERYTHING a manager let happen. If a manager one time let a customer buy this for this amount of money. Every single time a customer asked about it, I would call the manager over and get him to override it.
Dewey Believe This Happened? Oh Yeah.
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Patron: "How do I check out books without opening an account?"
Me: "You can't do that without an account, ma'am, but you're free to browse all of our books on the premises without one."
Patron: "If I give you all my information, I'll get hacked and have my identity stolen!"
Cyberspace Theory
Even though the purpose of Plausible Analytics is to track the usage of a website, this can still be done without collecting any personal data or personally identifiable information (PII), without using cookies and while respecting the privacy of your website visitors.
By using Plausible Analytics, all the site measurement is carried out absolutely anonymously. Cookies are not set and no personal data is collected. All data is in aggregate only. The website owner gets some actionable data to help them learn and improve, while the visitor keeps having a nice and enjoyable experience.
I stumbled across this today. Here is the kind of thing that websites could be doing instead of violating people's boundaries, using their property without permission, and teaching dangerously wrong interpretations of "consent." If you have your own website where you control the software, you might look into it.
No Self Awareness At The Self Checkout
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I get an alert from #11 and see on the playback that he tried to scan his bread, but it just didn't take. No problem, we can have a short chat about it while I fix the issue and go back to my post. A moment later, I get another alert from #11. When I approach, I see he's piled up several items I assume he intends to scan on the bagging area instead of the table attached to the other side.
Pop Culture Shock
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Cousin: "Hello, may I have a medium popcorn and a cola, please?"
Concessions Worker: "Medium popcorn, and... a what?"
Cousin: "A cola to drink, please."
Concessions Worker: "A what?"
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